My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I really wanted to love this book and based on the rave reviews I thought my odds were promising. Unfortunately I struggled to find things I even liked about it, let alone loved. The fake relationship trope is a common theme in romance and has worked for me on occasion in the past. In this case the way it was applied in the plot was gross-irredeemably gross. The story centers around a radio show producer (Shay) and an investigative journalist (Dominic) who are offered a job co-hosting a new show all about dating. Pretty standard fare. Except these two co-hosts are exes giving relationship advice. Great twist if it were real, but it's a complete and utter sham.
Dominic is a journalist (with a master's degree!) described as having "do-gooder morals." On his very first job, he's convinced to chuck his integrity aside for a paycheck. The idea of making up a fake relationship, invented dates, details, and all to sell to their unsuspecting listeners as truth doesn't sit well with him, but hey, it's only for six months so they can get hosting experience. Where's the harm, amiright? The alternative would be getting fired and struggling until he found something else. He is fresh out of school (with a master's degree!) so his resume is sadly lacking. Clearly passing off a fabricated broken relationship in which he is forced to spin a tornado of lies every day is preferable. I have to give him credit-he did say no at first. It took a little cajoling from Shay to get him on board. During this time, they both knew that there would be imminent layoffs, most notably the woman Shay worked with for the last ten years. Did Shay give this woman or her other co-workers a warning that they were about to get the axe?
Kent breaks the news to Paloma, Ruthie, and Griffin on Monday,and I pretend I’m hearing it for the first time.
Yet again, more than a little deceptive and she doesn't have a twinge of conscience. Both Shay and Dominic feel ashamed about their fake show so they lie to their families as well. Anytime you can't even tell your family the truth about your life, you know you're making the wrong choices. So they start the show, and the author presents the on-air scenes as "transcripts" of their dialogue. I thought this was a unique way to insert it, as if you're reading a script. Then again, it IS scripted. Even their argumentative dynamic. You see, in the beginning of the book their biting exchanges were real because Shay resented his meteoric success at the station. By the time they aired their first show, they were already friendly with one another. So literally nothing about The Ex Talk was real. This is how they introduced their story to listeners:
Shay Goldstein: [...]I'm Shay Goldstein, and this is The Ex Talk, a brand-new show from Pacific Public Radio. Thanks for joining us. We're coming to you live from Seattle, or if you're listening by podcast, somewhere in the somewhat recent past. Full honesty:[...]I've been a producer at the station for ten years, and Dominic's been working as a reporter since October. Which is around the time we started dating. And earlier this year, we broke up.
The show screams unethical, but based on the rave reviews I guess that's not an issue for others. As the book wears on, Shay's guilty conscience bites her in the ass. These moments are brief and quickly brushed aside with flimsy justifications.
This is only how it begins, I try to convince myself.We’re telling a story. That’s what radio is.The show will grow beyond our story—it has to.It’s the only way I can stomach our lie.
Shay has started to feel attraction towards Dominic (who has a master's degree!) Are you wondering why I'm being annoying about his degree? On the show, they do a "fun" game where Dominic has to put five dollars in a jar every time he mentions his lofty Northwestern master's degree. He ends up owing $25 by the end of the first week. This is even with him resisting other employees trying to bait him into saying it. Eventually he racks up enough to write a donation check to Illinois University. Is there anything more obnoxious than someone with no humility who needs to brag about their higher education 5+ times a week? That's just unbelievably tacky. I'm not kidding, he even mentions it during their first sex scene.
Once Shay and Dominic really start to have strong feelings for each other, Shay is torn on what to do. Her friend suggests that they pretend they "got back together" so they can have an open relationship.
“The whole point of the show is that we used to date,and that our breakup was amicable enough for us to host it together.“So maybe you got back together.” Lies on top of lies.“It wouldn’t work,” I say. “You know how I get in relationships.How much of a nightmare would it be if I somehow fell for him,and he didn’t feel the same way,and we were stuck still hosting the show together?”
So let me get this straight. If they were to announce their true feelings for one another...they might break up...and have to do the show together...as exes. ISN'T THAT THE ACTUAL PREMISE OF THE SHOW? *throws hands up in the air* It gets more and more fake the deeper you delve into this.
More cringeworthiness: One day a listener calls in and he's done some social media investigating. Turns out that Shay made a mistake and left a clue on Facebook that she was using a dating app when she was supposed to have been with Dominic. What follows is unapologetic, self-righteous, gaslighting to shut the caller up.
“Look, John,” Dominic says.“You can find any piece of someone’s social media historyand use it to prove whatever agenda you have.We’ve seen it happen plenty of times to peoplewith much more at stake than Shay and me.We’re not here to convince youif you’ve already made up your mind about us.I can tell you I didn’t go to journalism schoolto tell lies on the radio.”
Maybe he didn't go to school to tell lies, but he's sure doing a bang up job of it.
Eventually the s@#t hits the fan, and the two are outed at a convention. Panic ensues, and Shay scrambles to pacify the outraged fans. Unfortunately she's so scared about the fall out of her decisions, that she's more concerned with (in her words) "controlling the narrative" rather than letting the duped fans vent their feelings of betrayal. Lastly, I can't wrap this up without mentioning the weird scene where Shay and her soon to be step-sister Diana are wildly inappropriate in front of Diana's kids.
“But was he a huge dick where it mattered?”“Diana!” Phil says from one end of the table.“Your father is here. And there are children present.”“Dad. I have, in fact, had sex before.”She gestures to her kids.“Exactly twice.” More laughter at this.
DID HE HAVE A BIG DICK? DID HE KNOW HOW TO USE IT? *wink wink* Kids! don't play with your food, eat your vegetables. Dad, don't be so uptight. I don't mind visualizing you having sex and you're behind the times if my sexual appetites make you uncomfortable. That's pretty much how that conversation went...seems totally normal.
The resolution is rom-com standard fare. The big, romantic, public apology/profession of feelings/groveling. Kiss, kiss. Happily ever after. I was so disgusted by these characters that I didn't care what happened to them at this point. How do you like characters that are willing to lie to family, co-workers, and the audience who trusts them for months on end? This is a sad commentary on how journalistic integrity is malleable when it's up against the mighty dollar and clicks online. But in the end, the boss was villainized for being sexist so we should focus on that, and not the bad choices the main characters made for the entire book. He was the true bad guy here. I think it's obvious by now that this is not something I particularly enjoyed reading, but I am in the minority by far. So you'll probably want to read it and judge for yourself. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and regretfully this time it's going to be a loss.